Questions at Midnight

Where is God?

When a baby is left abandoned on the street, where is God? When earthquakes devastate whole city’s of people, where is God? When beautiful little girls or boys are molested before they have learned to walk, where is God? When talented, giving, young people die in random car accidents, where is God?

I sit up tonight after midnight asking myself these questions. Many of us, whether we are Agnostics, Atheists, or Christians have concluded that because of these injustices God must be too busy to help us, uncaring, or non-existent. I, too, have questioned God, I mean, isn’t He big enough to question? If He started this whole mess that we call our world shouldn’t we have the right to some answers from Him?

This is why I am asking…

A young man sits tonight in a dark room of his usually happy home asking these same questions. He has just been given the news that his wife of several years, the mother of his two beautiful children is HIV+. What is he supposed to do, now? We have no answers for him.

He had embraced his young wife years ago when her predicaments had thrown her into a life of prostitution. He had saved her and made her a respectable woman, and in return she had loved him with an unconditional love he had never known. Their life was like a fairy tale. Their children both still very young have brought them such joy. He has even enjoyed great success with his small business, giving them a modest, yet comfortable life. Yet now, all future plans seem clouded by this diagnosis. Oh, she could take the medications faithfully, but how many years would she still be able to help with the business and their family life. Despair has set in.

Another situation haunts me also. A little 6 year old is lonely tonight. Living in a home with seven other orphaned boys, he wonders why him. Why did his dad and mom have to die, leaving a home that distant relatives took, throwing him out on the streets. Yes, his parents’ housekeeper took him in for a while, but her meager salary could not support him, along with her family. So instead, he lived in the city, finding shelter some nights and a warm blanket from the police station, if there were enough. He thought that if he looked cute enough, sometimes he might find compassionate souls that would house him for a night or so, but other nights he was not so lucky.

And even though it looks grim for his future, he still wears a smile on his dirty little face, having less to smile about than the most of us. He doesn’t even have a hope of adoption, since many agencies view “street kids”, as not adoptable. Crushing news to such a small boy who misses the embrace of his mother’s arms, or his father’s pat on the back.

The stories of injustice are never ending. So why doesn’t God put an end to all of the suffering? I know the Bible says that God allows the rain to fall on the good, as well as the bad. I just had no idea how much rain would fall, and that so many of us would find ourselves without umbrellas.

But through all my questionings, the Bible seems to always remind me that God is love. I believe that all of the troubles that we go through hurt God, too, because He is such a loving God. He has given us free choice to do what we want on this earth, with unfortunate consequences of hurting others or ourselves in the process. Yet sometimes we experience hurt by no fault of our own, still God is there. He is the only one that seems to be able to take the worse situations and make them right again, or just give us peace during the trial. He sends people into our lives to support us, but sometimes He just wants us to turn JUST to Him.

So now that I have written my thoughts in black and white, and the clock says that it is almost 2am, I long to hear what others think about God’s intervention in their lives. Is He a good God, or a heartless dictator? Can He be trusted?

How this all started

In March 2006, my sister Cathy, niece Kandace, and great-niece Katrina were all killed in a car accident in New Mexico. This horrific event immediately cut our ties to our future plans and goals, leaving our family in search of a mission that would give us purpose again. Then AHI (Adventist Health International) contacted us, asking if we would be willing to serve at a 75 bed hospital in Gimbie, Ethiopia. We began saving, downsizing, and preparing for our "tour of duty", only to be financially crippled when my husband had a serious motorcycle accident which left him jobless for 7 months. Through generous support from our family, friends, and community, we were still able to raise enough money for plane tickets and expenses, and GO.

On October 3, 2008, our Ethiopian mission started to change our lives, forever. The first week was spent building a green house for Dr. Gemechu at the Learning Center just outside of Addis. After that we were transferred to Gimbie, and a journey that none of us expected unfolded. Instead of working on construction at the nursing school as expected, we were immediately thrown into the problems and struggles of the hospital. My husband was needed as head nurse, and he undertook the job, assigning us to positions to paint, clean, and organize where needed. The hospital was in dire need of TLC, so long hours and hard labor were necessary.

But soon the REAL issues started to surface. People were suffering. The needs of the people were so great and so complicated, we had to take time to somehow relieve their pain. Medicines, lab tests, and surgeries were needed for the poor patients. Mothers were dying, leaving orphans that needed care. Street boys were admitted to the hospital who had no home to be discharged to. Pregnant young girls were self-aborting, killing themselves along with their babies. Feet crippled by "podoconiosis" were searching for treatment. Women stigmatized by prolapses were deserted by their spouses. And those reaching puberty were feeling the first signs of a goiter, because of their lack of iodized salt.

How could we ignore these needs??????? This blog is to chronicle this journey we are traveling to relieve as much suffering as possible. Along the way, we hope to introduce you to the wonderful culture and people of Gimbie, so you can better understand our fellow brothers and sisters. I am sure you will fall in love with them as quickly as we did!